trouble?

So, I've been dating again. It's pretty fun. My date said something to me which sparked an old memory. He said, "You are trouble, aren't you?" But it didn't seem to phase him, haha.

Here is a similar sentiment from the past (my college livejournal):

Saturday, September 16, 2006

3:18AM - ...you'd think I was a siren... 

So I went to the bar with my housemates Phil and Bill.  They're awesome guys.  Bill and I get into a conversation while drinking about his perception of me.  He says, "I would know better than to buy you drinks, you're a siren".  And I responded that I don't lure men to their death.  Nor to anything harmful at all.  In fact most men who are lured into bed with me (although I don't think I lure anyone, I'm rather shy) have a rather enjoyable experience.  Or so I'm told.  And then he said "fair enough, (which is very Bill fashion) but you look so innocent that that you seem like you'd be trouble."

Do I really seem like trouble?

I don't think I am.

goodnight!
love, trouble
=P

Current mood:  drunk

big steps, baby steps

Today, I started looking for a new job in a new city.  I have found two interesting leads. So far, I've written a cover letter for one, but haven't sent it out yet. My resume is all snazzy.  But I am oddly hesitant and I can't figure out why.  Maybe I don't want to go back to work yet. I do, and I don't I guess...

In baby news, Theo finally drank regular milk! Hopefully now it means it less will wind up everywhere else. He also drank juice from a sippy cup willingly today! This all sounds very mundane to anyone else, but since I took away the formula, it has been a struggle to get any liquids in this little man.

As I type this, I am trying to get him to bed. This is always a tricky time. I put him in his crib, and at first he resisted, but then happily starting playing with toys. But then I made a huge mistake...I looked at him. Eye contact was made. Whenever I make this mistake, I feel as horrified as Orpheus and Eurydice. Because as soon as I make contact, he started screaming. He remembered, oh she is trying to put me to bed, I am in bed, Arggh! Waaah! Tantrum! If you ever, have a child, resist the temptation.

I gave in and let him out of bed. Now he is hugging my chair, and holding onto my shirt. Adorable!

I will leave today's post on a hilarious note from a scummy man (on OkCupid):

Hi,

Would you ever consider getting together with a married man?

Mark


Wow, Mark, nice pickup line. My response was simply: No.

Positively adorable

Haha, it was pointed out that my last post what still rather negative.  I guess it was. So, my new goal is to post about something positive for every time I have a negative one.

My baby usually sleeps in his crib until about 5 or 6am, at which point I bring him to my bed where he snuggles with me and catnaps until about 9am (if I am lucky).  Most often times he will wake me up by saying "HI" as loudly as possible and then pulling my hair. A few days ago, he woke me up by nestling his stuffed animal (a peter rabbit lovie) into my face. It was so adorable!  These are the cute moments I live for!  We also followed with our normal routine of reading the Peter Rabbit snuggle book, saying hi to our goldfish, our bunny rabbit, his favorite painting, every mirror we pass, and then Grandma. I love my mornings with him.

Occupation:?

After reading the my first post, I like it, but I think it sounds a little negative.

Even though becoming a mom has thoroughly changed my life even more than I expected, it is still pretty great. The mom part is awesome, it's really just everything else that is confusing.

I resigned from my job at the end of January, (Theo was 3 months old). I miss it so much! It was my first job after graduating and it was pretty amazing. My official title was Administrative Assistant in the Office of Cultural Development for the City of Pittsfield, MA. But really, it was much more than that. I organized artist information for art shows and public art (ie art that exists on the sidewalks, in parks, and other fun places). I was at all of the installations and de-installations and emergencies (art falling from the trees!). I also was the Coordinator of 3rd Thursday, a monthly street fair. And I started a TV show about what was going on in Pittsfield on the local public channel.

Why did I resign from such a fun job?! Several reasons:

1) My lease was up and I couldn't afford my apartment anymore, and I was wait-listed for public housing

2) Stress. I worked with artists, city employees (bureaucrats!) and the public. All are very demanding

3) Not energy/mental clarity to be both a mom and work a stressful job.

4) Living alone and an hour from family

So, I did the unthinkable and moved in with my mom. I had been in college/my own place for the past six years or so and was hesitant to move back. 

It just sounds so lame too. Two years ago, I was a new college graduate with a great job, a cool apartment, and I was going to travel the world, and I was going to have an amazing career, etc.

Who am I now?! 

A single mom, unemployed, living with her mom...(I try not to read that as loser but sometimes that word just glares out at me)

hello.

"Pilot: Introduction"

Setting: Quater-life crisis in the outskirts of suburbia

Character background: 25 year old, mother of 12 month old, previously beginning career in a low-paying/soul-rewarding career; impregnated while ex-sexing "the one, (that wasn't);" following 9 months of on-and-off again, to the eventual breakup (for real) in the hospital...then a year-long blur of diapers, breast pumps, family court, going back to work, resigning, moving home after 7 years, and now:

feeling like stereotypical stay-at-home welfare mom....

...without a clue about what to do next....